


purrloining

by orphan_account



Series: so you like me now, right? [1]
Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, THIS IS SO SELF INDULGENT COVERS FACE.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 08:12:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2614628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ren and Kai sneak a kitten into a college dormitory with mixed results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	purrloining

**Author's Note:**

> THANKS 2 [PIPER](http://archiveofourown.org/users/pipecleanerFlowers/) FOR BETAING THIS SHIT AND BEING GENERALLY RAD. IM SORRY I WON THE BET //FACEPLANTS
> 
> the playlist for this is literally  
> [galaxies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaImtAdoicU)  
> [rolling girl](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HFAWodw-0A)  
> [nicotine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wx0bZjSK9ig)  
> have fun

Kai Toshiki is beginning to seriously consider applying for a room change.

It’s seven PM on a Wednesday night and he is absolutely exhausted. For some ungodly reason, the due dates of three class assignments have synchronized themselves perfectly, forcing him to pull extra hours to produce something passable for all three. Chemistry ran late because someone neglected the last solution in titration lab, and the lecture that followed was not only uninteresting but a complete waste of time thanks to the professor’s habit of reading directly from slides available online. Kai honestly just wants to collapse into bed and sleep for ten hours, and he walks into his room fully prepared to do just that. He’ll deal with his homework in the morning.

Unfortunately for Kai, neither fate nor the universe are on his side today. The beleaguered college student takes one look at the small mammal asleep in his bed (feline, fluffy, bedraggled, and most definitely not allowed in a dorm room) and exhales once before dropping his backpack unceremoniously to the floor and walking right back into the hallway to the tune of a hasty _click._

“Ren, don’t even try it. I heard the shower.”

“Aw, hell.” The lock on the bathroom door clicks again and the door opens, revealing Kai’s current roommate: a redhead with a mischievous grin that advertises terrible ideas and a luxurious ponytail that probably adds three inches to his height.

(And no, Kai isn’t salty over the fact his roommate is taller than him. Not. One. Bit.)

“I found him in the parking deck,” Ren explains, wrestling his hair into a still-damp ponytail as he talks. “He was wet from the rain and stuff, so I put him under my hair dryer for a few minutes and plopped him on top of your bed.”

_He blow dried a cat,_ thinks Kai faintly. “What about your bed?”

“All my sheets are in the wash.” Shrugging, Ren adjusts the Pokemon bath towel hanging loosely around his hips. “And besides, he seems to like yours just fine. I mean, he’s curled up right in the middle of it.”

“Because you _put him there,_ ” Kai snarls, trying to ignore the very last vestiges of his tolerance slipping away from him like the air from a slowly-deflating balloon. “Pets aren’t allowed in the dorms.”

“Wait, seriously?” Ren looks horrified. “What am I supposed to do with him, then?”

“I don’t know, nor do I care,” Kai responds, ignoring a small and annoying voice in his head scolding him for telling a bold-faced lie. “But your new pet better be out of here by tomorrow morning.”

“You’re absolutely heartless.” Ren pulls a face at Kai’s back.

“Put on a shirt,” Kai fires in return, slamming the bathroom door in his face and storming into the recesses of their shared room.

 

* * *

 

Sunlight streams through the Venetian blinds in a direct line to Kai’s eyelids the next morning, forcing him to deal with the unpleasant reminder that he has subjected himself to the hell known as morning classes. He sits up, shaking the covers off his shoulders and weighing the benefits of an extra half hour of sleep over the possibility of a shower and food before his calculus recitation; the decision is yet unmade when the front lock beeps _3-2-5-4-1_ in rapid succession and slams open with a bang.

“I found a box!” Ren announces sunnily, sounding even brighter than the solar source currently assaulting their shared bedroom.

“Congratulations,” deadpans Kai sleepily. “What’s next, some packing peanuts?”

“No, you jerk.” Ren gives him such a sour look that Kai almost expects him to stamp a foot to go along with it. “I found a box, which means I can put blankets in it, which means that Abyss will no longer have to invade your bed for a healthy fourteen-hour sleep.”

“Abyss,” echoes Kai, because it’s not even eight in the morning and his roommate has already woken up, gotten dressed, and become a marginally productive member of society. Not to mention he’s bestowed a name upon the kitten that is still definitely not allowed in the dorm, and it’s positively _awful._

“Yes, Kai. Abyss.” Ren rolls his eyes. “Revenger, Phantom Blaster Abyss. Part of the Legion that dropped a month ago. Get with the program.”

“Yes, well,” Kai answers waspishly. “Some of us aren’t completely self-aware at _eight in the fucking morning--_ ”

“Seven fifty-two,” corrects Ren.

“That’s what I said,” lies Kai.

“It was not.” Ren really does stamp a foot this time; Kai forcefully drop-kicks the word _cute_ to the back of his half-asleep consciousness and chooses to deflect the argument.

“Naming your cat after a trading card doesn’t make it any less against the rules, Ren.”

“No worries, I’ll figure something out!” Ren places the box on the floor and heads for their shared closet area, grabbing Kai’s spinning chair and standing on it. “Got any old blankets or anything like that?”

“I am not contributing to your teenage delinquency,” Kai tells the ceiling.

“I’m twenty,” Ren informs him, sounding amused.

Kai pulls the covers back over his head and regrets his life.

 

* * *

 

Sadly, the day doesn’t get any better. Kai spends the top half of recitation attempting to decipher the three-page assignment their TA hands them on behalf of the shitty professor and the bottom half taking a nap on top of it. Continuous dining is packed to the eaves with stragglers from the tail end of morning classes and new arrivals trying to nab breakfast before ten in the morning, completely eradicating the supply of his favorite muffins; coincidentally enough, said breakfast items are the most edible thing in the entire morning buffet. Work is a chore only made worse by the sheer volume of students who walk into the student bookstore right as he clocks in; belatedly, he remembers today is a campus tour day, and those come with hordes of overprotective parents clutching their first-born teenagers with one hand and a textbook list with the other.

Ren walks into the bookstore somewhere around three in the afternoon, effectively serving the role of the sugarless icing on the hopelessly charred cake.

“How may I help you,” intones Kai from the counter, praying his roommate has a genuine request rather than the desire to mess with him while he’s at his job.

“Oh, wow, Kai! I had absolutely _no idea_ you worked here!” chimes Ren, looking so innocent that Kai is almost inclined to believe him.

“I was trying to keep it that way,” responds the latter dryly. “Mostly so that you wouldn’t come in here asking if we stock Skittles or gummy erasers or something.” Incidentally, both are in stock, but Kai is _not_ about to tell that to the redheaded menace in front of him.

“So rude,” huffs Ren, before leaning on the counter and affixing Kai with a serious expression. “Okay. So we may have a tiny problem.”

“If by ‘tiny’ you mean Abyss, I am going to forcibly escort you out of the store.”

“No, this is serious!” blurts Ren suddenly. “He refuses to unwedge himself from the corner of my bed, and he hissed at me when I got near him…”

“So you left him _alone?_ ” Kai stomps on the traitorous feeling of worry that spikes up almost immediately, instead choosing to fix Ren with a dark look. “Very responsible of you.”

“I didn’t have a choice!” defends Ren, and--that sure is panic in his eyes, just a little. Kai convinces himself he’s doing this solely out of pity as he puts the ringer on and leans over the counter.

“Hey, Misaki!”

“What’s your emergency,” calls his coworker from the back desk, dumping the books in her arms before making her way past the barricade to the front till.

“Abyss,” answers Ren almost before Misaki’s completed her sentence.

“Our...cat,” Kai tacks on distastefully. “For the record, this is a temporary arrangement which I had absolutely nothing to do with.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever!” Ren makes a hurry-it-up motion with his hands, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “It’s partially your room, so Abyss is also partially your responsibility. Move faster!”

“Fifteen minutes,” Kai offers, trying to ignore Ren behind him (a hopeless feat made ten times harder when the taller male starts tugging at his sleeve.)

“Done.” Misaki expertly catches the set of keys she’s been twirling on one finger, walking around him to take his spot at the till. “I’ll tell Tetsu you took an early lunch, but you’d better come back with at least a shrimp roll to your name.”

“Duly noted.” Kai vaults the desk, accidentally tugging Ren along with him.

They hit the dorms in record time. Kai calls in an order from Panda on the elevator ride up to the eighth floor and digs out a crumpled twenty, passing it to Ren.

“You know how to get to the bubble tea place, right?”

“There’s a bubble tea place?”

Ren sounds delighted. Kai closes his eyes and counts to twenty, desperately hoping that he is still in possession of some Advil.

 

* * *

 

One kitten retrieval later, the duo-turned-trio returns to the front desk.

_Just in time for afternoon inventory,_ thinks Kai sourly as he reattaches the cordless phone to his jeans pocket. _A ton of textbooks, three cartons of Chinese, one problematic roommate, and a fucking cat._

“Are you okay?” Misaki asks him, more so out of politeness than anything.

“I’m going to get fired.” Kai stares dejectedly into his lo mein.

“Don’t worry about it.” Misaki pats him on the back while expertly defending her sesame chicken from Abyss’s paws with a sole chopstick. “I’m sure people have done worse than bring their boyfriend and their pet to work.”

There is a brief silence, punctuated by a small meow from the stacks. It is the sound of Suzugamori Ren not taking the situation seriously.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Kai shoves the rest of his noodles at Abyss, who seems to have finally realized that the imposing human female with the purple hair is completely immune to his kitten charms and is now sulking next to the desk stapler. “He’s my roommate, and I am quite positive I hate him.”

“Hate’s a strong word, Kai,” chides Ren, and Kai jumps one whole foot because _how the hell did he get behind the till so quickly._

“I will punch you.”

“But then you really _will_ get fired,” points out Ren.

“You’re probably right,” agrees Kai, before stepping on his foot.

 Later, they go to Wal-Mart for basic pet necessities. Kai spends most of the trip removing large bags of candy from the cart at regular intervals and preventing Abyss from going after inanimate objects; midway through the trip, he buys Ren a coffee and Abyss a plush toy and parks them both in the café near the front of the store.

“Worst shopping partner ever,” complains Ren under his breath, but he and Abyss stay put.

Kai crosses cat litter off the list and wonders how he ended up being the sole charge of a twenty-year-old kindergartener and a small cat.

 

* * *

 

They last a week.

 

* * *

 

The seventh day of Abyss’s stay dawns bright and rainy, very much like the first. Except this time, they’ve got bigger problems than the kitten they’re currently sheltering in their room.

“Kai, wake up!” Ren bursts into their shared room without so much as a good morning, waving a piece of paper like a flag. “Sorry about your sleep, but we gotta talk. Now.”

“Good morning to you too,” Kai tries to say, but it comes out as unintelligible gibberish. He tries again with minimally better results, and Ren shakes his head in frustration.

“Cute, but you need coffee. This is important.”

Kai runs a hand through his hair with one hand and reaches for his phone with the other, squinting at the time.

“It’s seven in the morning.”

“Stop talking, you’re wasting time!” Ren calls from across the room before lobbing something at his face. “We’re leaving in ten. I’ll feed Abyss.”

The exhausted male shakes out the shirt that’s just been thrown at him and wonders how Ren found the v-neck he’s been trying to get rid of for the past month.

 

* * *

 

Exactly seven minutes later, Kai is brushing his teeth in the bathroom while Ren and Abyss wage war over the hair dryer.

“C’mon, Abyss, I need that back!” complains Ren, reaching for the black hairstyling appliance. “My hair isn’t gonna dry itself, you know.”

Abyss merely hisses at him and bats the air with one small black paw, bristling at the idea of relinquishing his personal electronic heater. Ren jumps and scurries back a few inches, and Kai would almost laugh at the scene if he isn’t still busy trying to get his brain to cooperate with his limbs. He stares at the mirror, contemplating whether it’s worth expending the effort to lift a brush to his hair or just to leave it be; through some miracle of genetics, he never gets anything remotely resembling bedhead.

“Your hair looks fine,” scoffs Ren, answering the question for him. “My luscious locks, on the other hand, are going to dry up and become as stiff as a board if your cat doesn’t give me back my hair dryer.”

“ _You_ named him,” Kai points out tiredly, reaching for Abyss. The kitten purrs happily and climbs into his hand, tiny paws kneading at his arm muscles as it clambers onto his shoulder.

“That is _so_ unfair.” Ren gapes at him.

Kai doesn’t respond, but one corner of his mouth tilts upwards of its own volition.

 

* * *

 

Abyss relocates himself from Kai’s jacket pocket to the inside of his scarf somewhere between the elevator and the front entryway; the latter party only realizes this when he turns his head to say something to Ren. The kitten is nestled right up under his chin, purring like a small nonmetal Ferrari, and Kai thanks every god he knows of that he didn’t end up with a mouthful of fur because that would likely probably worsen the situation.

“He seems to like you,” Ren points out through a fit of poorly-repressed giggles. Kai makes a rude gesture at him.

Ren explains the situation as they cross campus to Hitsue College’s completely subpar excuse for a Starbucks. His version: Parkour, an incriminating memo and a grappling hook constructed entirely out of tape. Short version: room inspections.

“Well, shit.” Kai halts in the middle of the path as the implications of Ren’s self-proclaimed epic tale of epicness finally settle in.

“Yeah, you can say that again.” Ren crosses his arms over his chest, looking irritated beyond belief. “The office’s tape dispenser absolutely _destroyed_ my favorite cardigan.”

“Not that, dumbass.” Kai starts walking again. “There are a few things the RAs are bound to notice, and a litter box is definitely one of them.”

“Hey, I take care of the litter every morning!” Ren jogs to catch up, red scarf trailing behind him like some bizarre cross between a flag and a beacon. “I haven’t missed a day yet!”

“I’m not saying I doubt you,” Kai responds, jamming his hands into his pockets. “Actually, never mind, I don’t trust you at all. So maybe I am.”

“Was there a point to this aside from insulting me?” Ren arches an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Kai insists into his collar. Abyss meows in protest because _hey, I’m trying to get some sleep here you useless but warm human,_ and he asks himself for the umpteenth time why he even agreed to this arrangement.

“And that point is…” prods Ren.

Kai glares at him. “The cat in our room.”

“In your scarf,” corrects Ren, grinning.

Kai takes particular care to step on his foot again as they enter Starbucks.

 

* * *

 

At the counter, Ren orders something with ten syllables and about as many flavors. Kai settles for a tall hazelnut coffee with no sugar or creamer, but he does accept the whipped cream the barista offers him so that the kitten can have an item of interest that's not the warm crevice formed by his collar and his scarf.

Speak of the devil, thinks Kai as Abyss pokes his head out of the fabric with an impatient meow.

“Don’t worry!” Ren pipes up cheerily. “You can have some of my coffee, since this killjoy ordered something bland and bitter.”

“Healthier than a cupful of glucose,” Kai tells Abyss, but his words are directed at Ren.

_“Rude,”_ huffs Ren petulantly. “And here I was gonna pay for you, too.”

“It’s the thought that counts.”

“Are you being sarcastic?”

“No,” says Kai sarcastically.

The barista hands over their coffees, effectively distracting Ren enough for Kai to find a spoon and a spare plastic cover; he sits down at a table and scrapes the entire spray of whip onto it. Pinged, Abyss climbs out of his coat.

“Not all at once.” Gently, Kai nudges the small ball of fluff with the side of his coffee cup. “You’ll get sick that way.”

Abyss yawns at him, tiny jaws unlatching to reveal a row full of sharp white teeth.

“Very threatening,” Kai assures him before turning back to his own coffee.

Ren grins, taking a sip of his glucose-laden concoction. “You actually do give a damn, don’t you?”

“No,” Kai shoots back a second too quickly. _Shit._

“Knew it!” singsongs Ren.

“I will wipe that smirk off your face with my fist.”

“You’ll get thrown in _jail,_ ” proclaims Ren self-importantly, emphasizing the last word. “And plus, it’ll go on your school record.”

_If this coffee wasn’t actually decent, it would be on your head._ Kai scowls and snatches the printed-out email Ren’s been holding, scanning it quickly for any information that might be useful.

For example, the actual date of the inspection. Which is…

“...Tonight?!”

Ren flashes him a strained smile. “Hope you don’t have an evening class.”

 

* * *

 

Kai does, in fact, have an evening class.

Fortunately, said evening class is also a complete joke, so he meets Ren at the foot of the College of Design’s stairwell with Abyss asleep in one pocket and the barest vestiges of a plan.

“Hide everything.”

Ren’s jaw drops, and a textbook from the stack he’s balancing nearly follows it onto the cement. _“That’s_ your genius plan?”

“It’s what we’re going with.” Kai zips up his coat to guard against the cold. “Unless you’ve developed something better during studio.”

“I slept through studio,” Ren tells him unabashedly.

“That’s not something you should be proud of.” Kai picks up Ren’s tablet from the top of the book stack, sliding the stylus into its holder and properly wrapping the cable. “Anyway, I hope you had a snack or something, because we definitely don’t have time for dinner.”

Ren stares him down. “There’s always time for dinner.”

“Not today, there’s not.” Kai glances at his watch. _Six thirty._ According to the email Ren permanently borrowed, the RAs are supposed to start their rounds at seven. He starts walking.

“Well, there’s time for _something.”_ Frowning, Ren trails Kai into the architecture building. “I know there’s a vending machine around here.”

“Ren, _no,”_ Kai interjects immediately. “This is a shortcut, not a food venue.”

“Third floor!” yells Ren, dashing up the steps faster than he can shuffle a deck.

Kai fires an evil look at the stairwell and sits down to wait (because like hell is he running up three flights of stairs with a sleeping kitten in one pocket. Motion sickness is real.)

Ren returns a few minutes later with a pack of Skittles and a diabolical grin. He offers a handful, and Kai quickly remembers why he dislikes the gelatinous candies.

“These are disgusting.”

“You have no taste.”

 

* * *

 

It’s six fifty-six when they finally arrive at their intended destination. The shortcut cost the duo ten minutes instead of doing its job and saving five, and Kai would lament his existence except he doesn’t have the time because Abyss’s litter box is still in plain sight on their bathroom floor and the cat food is somewhere near Ren’s bed and he isn’t even sure where the cat bed is anymore but there is an 80 percent chance that it’s somewhere it shouldn’t be.

In summation, they’re screwed. Kai starts pacing the elevator and doesn’t stop until Ren stands in front of him.

The situation only worsens when they hit their floor and notice people propping doors open.

“Yo, Aichi!” Ren waves at someone three rooms over from theirs. “Which side are the RAs on?”

“Not ours, yet.” The door opens a little more, and Ren’s apparent acquaintance pokes his head out to answer. “But our room’s so messy, and I’m the only one here…What do I do?”

“Just shove everything in the closet really quickly,” suggests Ren.

“Everyone’s closets are all too full to help much…” Aichi tugs nervously at a lock of electric-blue hair, but he brightens a little when he sees Kai. “Oh! Ren’s roommate! Are you two rushing back to tidy up your room, too?”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Kai tells him, steering Ren towards their room. “I’d love to stay and talk, but we have a bit of a situation.”

As if on cue, Abyss meows and pokes his head out of Kai’s right pocket. Aichi’s eyes go wide.

“Is that a…”

“No.” Kai walks faster.

“Nice catching up with you!” Ren calls as he is dragged away.

 Kai all but shoves Ren into their shared living space and leans against the door as it clicks shut, letting out a frustrated sigh as he transfers Abyss from his pocket to its preferred perch in the folds of his scarf.

“Ren, you better have a plan or we’re going to be in some serious trouble.”

Ren examines the polish on his nails, frowning at a chip in the pale metallic tint. “Why do you always jump to the worst conclusions?”

_“Someone’s_ going to get kicked out for this,” Kai retorts in an undertone. “And if it’s not one of us, it’ll be the cat.”

“Aw, I didn’t know you cared so much.” Ren looks like the human embodiment of the cat that ate the canary, and Kai would take the time to appreciate his accidental pun were he not occupied with finding a place to hide the litter box.

“I _don’t!”_

There is the sound of a slamming door from the next suite over, and two sets of footsteps approach their room. Three knocks in quick succession of the front of their door go unanswered by both parties, resulting in a whispered conversation.

“Should we just come back later? I mean, I always feel bad keying in, even though we’re allowed…”

“Me too, but...Well, you know how the office is. They want everyone to finish their shit right this second.”

“Heaven forbid you forget to color-code everything.” remarks the first speaker sardonically, and someone stifles a snicker.

_We’re toast,_ Kai thinks resignedly as the trio of RAs come to the mutual conclusion to use the pass code for room 614B.

“I got it,” Ren whispers suddenly, eyes lighting up like he’s cracked the code to the universe. “We need a distraction.”

Kai has all of two seconds to wonder what Ren’s idea of a distraction is before the door beeps five times in halting succession and swings open.

(And then he doesn’t have to wonder anymore, because Ren leans in and  _kisses him._ )

 

* * *

 

Ren’s lips are soft and warm on his. Kai briefly considers this new development for a second before tugging them closer.

_Distraction, hm? Better make it look good._

Ren picks up on Kai’s intent almost immediately and returns the favor, resting his hands on Kai’s waist and tilting his head slightly to accommodate for their position. He tastes like candy and caffeine--fitting, but not altogether unpleasant--and Kai has time to think _oh_ before Ren deepens the kiss and his thought process completely derails itself.

 

* * *

 

Of course, the moment is broken by a strangled noise from the doorway.

“We’ll...come back later,” manages the tallest of the RAs, a blond young lady with a side ponytail, before she and her partners in inspection abscond with their clipboards.

Ren lets go of Kai and tiptoes over to the door, checking to make sure the coast is clear before turning around with a victorious expression.

“Perfect. Now all we have to do is hide Abyss’s stuff in the closet and we should be safe when they get back.”

_Abyss…?_ A few synapses fire in unison, and Kai suddenly remembers about the cat in his scarf. He manages to coax Abyss out with one hand; the kitten hooks its claws into his sweater and climbs up to his shoulder, purring all the while.

“Don’t even try it,” Kai tells Abyss, scowling. “I kissed this idiot to save your sorry tail.”

“And enjoyed it, probably,” points out Ren helpfully.

“Didn’t you skip dinner?” Kai cuts him off before he can continue, mostly because it is _way_ too soon to consider the fact that he just made out with his roommate (and the probability of said roommate being right about his personal opinion.)

“Your fault.” Ren pulls a face at Kai, twirling the drawstrings of his hoodie. “Anyway, there’s pizza at my job from some event or another. Wanna go?”

“We could just go to the dining hall.”

“Or we could go on an _adventure.”_ Ren’s got that grin on his face again, the one that advertises literally nothing but bad ideas, and Kai gets the sinking feeling that his decision has been made for him even before he agrees.

Ren grabs his sleeve and hauls him out of their room, heading for the stairwell. Kai scowls and stands at the top of the steps, watching Ren gleefully slide down every single banister.

“You’re going to fall.”

“I do this every morning,” Ren reassures him from the third-floor landing.

Kai sighs and starts down the stairs (in the proper fashion) with Abyss in tow, not surprised to find that he doesn’t actually mind the sound of an impending adventure.

 

* * *

 

“So, Kai! I was thinking Abyss might want a friend-- _ow!”_

**Author's Note:**

> i have a mechanics exam tomorrow


End file.
